FLCL 2 but with Zenji
by NiagaraLucas
Summary: Meet Zenji Anazawa. Your typical delinquent with a gold heart though he'll never admit it. This is the story about how he and his friend's ordinary lives changed due to un-ordinary events.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: Hello everyone willing to read! It's been ages since I've seen the original series and my memory of all the story's details maybe a little off but once the new seasons end, I'll go back and add and edit whatever I come up with that fits so for now enjoy this awesome story!**

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You ever just stop and take a harder look at the city, the people who you've grown up with your entire life and suddenly think,

'God, there has to be fucking something I'm missing here?'

I may have, once or twice but I never realized I was the one who actually needed something else. I always thought I would live a normal life; graduate school, get a job I would hopefully enjoy and marry a super hottie and have tons of kids and die from old age.

I always thought the world was a boring, shitty-ass place but I held no actual anger towards it. Just myself and that's the truth. I have my family who loves me, a nice home, a town filled with hilarious weirdos, my video games and anime, even...friends. My reputation sort of fits how you would judge my book cover but enough about that.

In the words of that old American TV show, "SO this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down." ...Yeah that's sort of the only way to describe it.

Now let's start this crazy ride filled with forehead monsters from other worlds, the possible apocalypse due to alien wars, growing up crap, a woman who owns the sickest blue Cadillac and 'accidentally' tried to kill me, and another one with pink hair who owns a vespa scooter that would teach us kids about how to live life in the most bat-shit way possible.


	2. RE: Start! Part 1

**Author's note: Please enjoy and review**

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Ash.

Falling white ash like snow.

I could see only the ruins of buildings like a city out of a war zone movie.

But still, there was nothing but the chilling feeling of despair all around me.

I knew I didn't want to be wherever this shithole was so I ran and ran until my lungs couldn't keep up with me, " _Shit, I don't want to die here._ " I was never the type to cower but if you suddenly find yourself in a place that look like could be infested with zombies and got blown to kingdom come you'd find yourself in my shoes.

I finally found a clearing and as I stopped to catch my breath, I looked up at the iny black sky thinking how the peaceful feeling this weird-ass place was giving me was just to come, And I was right as soon as I heard the sound of metal groaning coming towards me. I whipped around to see thousands of copies of that medical building called "The Plant" were moving in a single line as if they were warships preparing for battle.

I wanted to actually scream at the sight, but someone already did it for me. I turned to find the source but a bright light blinded the area. As soon it had died I looked in shock to see, a giant silver robot? No! It actually looked like something out of a mecha anime! It stood proud and tall at the army of Plants coming towards us.

The wind around me suddenly picked up cause the silver robot had sprouted wings for some reason and just blasted off towards-

HOLY CRAP! THE MECHA WHATEVER JUST PUNCHED THE SHIT OUT OF ONE THEM!

"ALL RIGHT!" I couldn't help but jump and cheer at the sight, It was like watching a scene from Gundam! After that I noticed that my shouting was the the only noise that echoed through the place. It must have sensed me or something cause then the mystery robot slowly turned towards my hiding place, and despite how far I was I could see my reflection in its crystal clear visor….

 ***BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!** *

"Zenji! It's time to get up! Breakfast is ready!"

My eyes slowly creaked open, "All right! Shut Up!" I banged on my alarm clock snooze button, I stretched and yawned, making my way from my room to the bathroom. " _God, screw mornings._ " I looked in the mirror at my reflection, Yep same messy silver dyed hair with purple streaks and dark green eyes with bags under them. I chuckled to myself as I suddenly remembered the first time my folks saw me with my new crazy hair. Dad was all for it while Mom nearly threw the frying pan she was holding at my face. So thankfully, that weird robot didn't decide to be the one to mess my beautiful complexion up.

After I did my morning ritual, I dressed myself in what would be described as "delinquent-looking" clothes and after I quickly stuffed my trusty and worn-out pipe in my pants. Don't worry, of course they're outside the underwear. I made my way downstairs to wear I could smell the food Mom was making behind the stove while Dad was reading the paper.

"Morning, Zen!"

"Morning, sweetie!" They said, knowing I was already in the dining room.

I said my hellos back as I took a seat next to where Dad was at the table. My parents Zheng Mao-Anazawa and Mutsumi Anazawa are the best caregivers anyone could ask for despite all the shit I've given them, they still put up with me. They may never completely understand why I chose the way I want to live my life but they constantly stated as long as I never have to ask them to bail me out of jail, keep my grades up, invite a few friends over once in a while, and come home with little injuries as possible they pretty much let me do whatever I want.

Hell, the only reason Ma got mad at me for dying my hair was cause she thought one of my 'gangster' friends put me up to it. And it's not true since I never even seen a single symbol for any type gang around Mabase City.

"I made your favorite, Meat-Lover's Omelette!" Ma said as she settled my plate and white rice side dish in front of me. Crud balls, there's always a reason, good or bad that my mother would go all out in the morning for me this way. Dad must've noticed my concern so he gave a little chuckle which caused me to glare at him in which he responded, "Don't worry son, there's a good reason this time."

And what would that be dear father?

"Your mother and I…"

"Are going on a business trip!"

Oh...Awesome! That obviously means the house to myself! "Cool, but how long exactly?" My folks are office workers for some random company. "Just a few days and were leaving the day after tomorrow." Dad said. "But Zenji, you know that-" I interrupted my mother because anyone with parents leaving the house to their kids knew what she was about say. "Don't worry Ma, I know the drill." I said shoveling some of my breakfast into my mouth.

"I'll see you guys later!" I called to my folks while running out of the house. I made my usual route to Mabase Middle and blended in with the crowd.

"Yo! Anazawa!"

"Hey Zenji!"

I waved at the ones who called my name. But to me, they were just being friendly so I had no reason to stay and chat. Before I headed inside a shock of bright yellow caught my eye near the bicycle parking. I turned to see...a scooter? "Huh? Didn't think any of the teachers were good enough to ride one of those babies." Whatever. I shrugged and walked to get to my classroom but not before I snapped a pic of the Vespa with my cell. I decided to be lazy and use the back door as well when I got to 1-2, opening it with my foot like I do.

"Now spill it! When are you making a decision about your relationship?!"

"Wh-woah! Wh-what do you mean?!"

Balls. I keep forgetting why I avoid the back door. Why? It's so I don't run into the Three Stooges. Goro Mori, the blonde chubby one with horrible fashion sense who makes it his life's business to get into everyone else's business with his other business. Marco Nogata, the half hispanic whos the most tolerable of the bunch and an all around nice guy but just utterly spacey. And finally the ringleader and bane of my existence but the most easy to mess around with, Ko "Four-Eyes" Ide.

"You know, the double ds…" I heard Mori whispered.

Double Ds?

"Hush Mori. Let's not talk about this right now." I heard Four-Eyes whisper back.

Ah...I see what's going on here. Welp, time to make my grand entrance. "Do my ears deceive me or did our precious little Glasses actually get himself his first girlfriend?" I swaggered into the room as Mori and Marco's eyes widen to see me like they really didn't expect me to show up at all today.

"Anazawa." A scowl formed on Blondie's big face.

"Mori" I sneered back.

"Good morning Zenji!"

"Morning Marco!"

"Just pretend he's a fly and he'll disappear…" Four-Eyes still had his back to me. Well, if he's not going to be nice to me this early in the morning. I feigned like my feelings were suddenly hurt, "But Ide I thought you were talking about your special lady friend and I wanted in. We're just teenage guys finding out what love is supposed to be like in this crazy world after all." I turned around and leaned so our backs were touching. I could practically feel the tension I'm creating from all three of them. Gross I think I could feel his sweat. Perfect. Smirking I continue, "But then again it would be so scandalous if it turns out this lover of your's was Miss Shima-"

"OKAY I GET THE POINT! STOP GETTING ME IN TROUBLE!" Ide finally yelled as he pushed me off his back. "First of all Anazawa, why would you ever think that my hypothetical girlfriend was our teacher!" I rolled my eyes and gave him the only answer our gender has ever come up with. "Shimazaki has massive sandbags and you beat me in the rubbernecking competition."

Four-Eyes' jaw drops and his face turns beats red while Mori starts hollering in laughter and says over and over that it's absolutely true while Marco is holding back his red-faced laughs and roasts his own friend with this, "The good news Ide, at long last you can say you finally found something you're able to beat Zenji with!"

"Ha! Nice one Nogata!" And we high-five. I see my tutelage hasn't gone to waste.

"Grr! Whatever! You are so lucky I'm in a good mood today otherwise I'd be practicing baseball with that disgusting lead pipe of yours and your face as the ball."

I retort in a flash while poking the bandage on his forehead, "Please I'd hardly doubt you can do any damage more than whatever Shimazaki did to your ugly-ass forehead." Mori and Marco start cracking up again as I stick out my tongue. "Alright enough! Can we just change the subject?!"

"To what?" The two stooges and I ask him.

Ide's glasses suddenly give off a serious glint. "Mori's interesting choice in fashion instead?"

Huh?

"Well what about it?" Said boy asked.

"What the heck are you doing wearing a skirt?!" Ide whisper-shouts back. A skirt? What is he- and there goes the rest of my innocence as I immediately regret looking over the desk. I shiver in disgust as Marco gives me an apologetic smile. "It's called unisex and It's in right now. Right Marco?" "Yeah. Unisex" The half-hispanic boy answers back timidly. Now that I really noticed it's not just the skirt, but it looks like a retro neon rainbow vomited all over Blondie.

"Unisex? What is that?" Ide asks again.

"What!? I can't believe you've never heard of it!"

Hey, even i get that a toddler can understand Unisex basically means for both genders. "Hey, you breathe gender in the fashion world they'll throw you in a nursing home!" Mori continued.

"Wait, for reals?" Ide asked. Meanwhile, I just stood there dumbfounded. " Yeah all the hippest guys are wearing skirts nowadays, don't ya know?" Dude, like who? Because I'm pretty sure that even the guys who walk to school in the morning would rather not have the wind put them in a cliche anime scene. "Marco, is this true? Does that mean that the old farts who sleep on park benches you hang out with are suddenly fashionable?"

Wait, who's he been-

"And what about you Anazawa? Have you seen more than you wanted from your fellow gang members?"

DUDE FOR THE LAST TIME! But before I could verbally retort Mori cuts me off, "HEY WHO YOU CALLIN AN OLD FART!?" "AND IF YOU SAY THAT I'M IN A GANG ONE MORE TIME FOUR EYES IT'S GONNA BE THE LAST THING YOU DO!" I point at him, yelling. "U-um…" The voice of our shy foreigner chimes in, "I think people should be aloud to wear whatever they want."

"THAT'S RIGHT!" The "fashionista" exclaims.

I just nod at him, giving him a thumbs up. Good on ya, Nogata. "Okay fine, I really don't care so can you please stop showing me your underwear?" Four-Eyes asked Blondie and I agree with him cuz...it's just nasty. "Hey, it's not like I'm flashing you on purpose, you're the one who's looking." And he went there. "It's in my field of vision and one's eyes are naturally drawn to underwear, right Marco?" Ide growls out.

"U-um yeah." Nogata replies. As much as I personally hate to admit it, he has a point. "Hey Blondie, maybe it's best you put on shorts or whatever underneath like some of the girls do that way everyone's happy and you don't keep creeping us out." I suggested just to put an end to the reason I don't hang out with these morons.

"Thanks for that lovely input Anazawa, but I'll pass since there shouldn't be any reason for Ide here to be staring at my panites in the first place."

"Don't call them panites! They are briefs."

Christ…

"WELL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GETS AN EYEFUL OF MISS SHIMAZAKI'S PANTY BUFFET EVERYDAY!"

OH YEAH GET ROASTED FOUR EYES! The second Glasses went to rip out the chubby boy's hair, I sniggered and waved at Marco, using the chaos so I could finally get to my desk. When I sat down, I looked behind me to see a girl with long black hair wearing cat-like headphones looking at her cell phone. I whipped out my own and sent a text.

 **Zenji**

Sup? You look more dead inside than usual.

 **Hidomi**

I'll tell you in a sec, Zen. Just need to clear my head for a few more seconds.

 **Zenji**

Kay'

In case you you haven't figured it out, I just texted the girl in the desk behind me. Her name is Hidomi Hibajiri and she is probably the only person I can truly call a friend. Our moms met when mine went to visit her family cafe, The Lucky Cat and they really hit it off. They eventually introduced us to each other and it was at a really bad time. It was because Hidomi's father had already been missing for weeks. Even I still don't understand it to this day but all I know it left her and her mom a wreck for a while. Ms. Hibajiri asked that I be extra good to Hidomi because she really needs a friend and I said yes being so hyper at the thought of making new friends, not even knowing what I was getting into.

The first few playdates were of course awkward, since we just sat around mindlessly playing at our toys. Over time, I learned to not be so loud and obnoxious around her since she just seemed to be moving at a snail's pace and would rather avoid thrill-seeking. I remember thinking, "Why do I want to keep hanging out with this weird robot?" Because that's what she was, a robot. Granted she was probably still in shock about her dad so I didn't press farther. But as the years passed we finally started getting somewhere and opening up; especially on that one night...But that's a story for another day.

When I first started creating my "gang member" reputation, I thought Hidomi would be the one to break up our friendship since I had no idea if she wanted to keep hanging out with a trouble-making delinquent like me. She responded when I asked, "Why would you think I would leave you cause of this? As long as you don't drag me into anything we'll stay friends, I promise Zen." That was the first time she called me that. It's not like Hidomi to be so passionate since she's usually so emotionless and hard to read. Heh, guess we are friends after all.

The bell ringing and the sound of the door sliding open snapped me from my thoughts. As the class chatter died down and everyone took their seats, a short blonde haired women with an hourglass figure stood at the front of the room, her glasses obscuring her eyes. Yep, this is our hot sub Miss Shimazaki. Forgot to mention that she was a sub since our last teacher apparently got into a crazy accident.

"Good morning everybody now repeat after me." She told us in her monotone voice after slamming her books down on her desk. "Good morning everybody now repeat after me." The class with the exception of myself and Hidomi chorused.

"Now sit down."

Ha.

"But we're already sitting down." Marco stated.

"Marrrvelous. Full house then." Shimazaki droned, writing in her book. "Now then, to kick off today's class I would like to propose a question to all of you…"

(A/N: Skipping that speech rambling cuz I'm a lazy bum.)

"...I have taught you everything you need to know." Wait, what? Crud, must've spaced off for a second. It usually be like that when Shimazaki doesn't seem to run out of air. Hidomi told me we were getting on with the lesson for today and I hoped I could just memorize shit with my brain so I don't have to write anything down since I was so damn tired all of a sudden.

Remember what I said literally a second ago? Flush it down the toilet. Why you ask? One word: Porn. This "lesson" Shimazaki planned is making us one at a time watch porn at full volume in front of the class. I'm not a teacher, but even I know educators aren't aloud to do THIS. And apparently no one seems to care as we sit by the wall in a line and watch Hidomi's unmoving face as it was her turn at the laptop. C'mon, there has be something going through her head.

"What the hell is she making her watch?" Blondie asked Four-Eyes, "Dunno. Probably something really dirty." Frigging morons. I growl a little as I snap, "So I'm not the only one who hears the sex noises. Thanks guys, good to know I'm not going crazy" The two stooges just glare at me before turning back to front of the room. I just seethe in my place next to Marco as he puts a hand on my shoulder, calming me a bit.

"Fine, I've seen all I need to." Shimazaki dismissed Hidomi probably because she was annoyed that she couldn't even get the slightest reaction out of my headphone wearing friend. Yeah, that was totally it. Shimazaki asked for the next person and when Ide volunteered she refused him. "Hey look at that! You even get rejected by your own girlfriend inside of class Four-Eyes!" I couldn't help but shout.

"ANAZAWA! I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"Swear to god you'll what!?"

"Hey Miss Shimazaki! Can I go?!" Mori interrupted. Soon Blondie and Glasses started fighting about who cares when our teacher said, "How about you Anazawa? You raring to go?" Smirking, I stuff my hands into my pockets and stand up, "Sure Miss. S, I didn't get to have my morning jack off session anyway."

"Wonderful. But since there seems to be a few commotions I'd appreciate it if everyone waits outside for their turn." I found it odd that Miss S sent everyone out but she states the morons would be trying to look over my shoulder and she didn't want the rest to follow suit. Weird considering what she is making us do.

I start my "adult education" journey. My eyes glued to the screen while Miss S starts to ask questions, what I thought about the production on some of the videos, if I was getting my daily dose of "giving into my urges" at home, and if I had any preference for a girlfriend. Okay, it was already surreal watching porno in front my teacher and talking while hearing the loud and obnoxious moans coming from the laptop but it was strange how much I was answering especially with the last one.

The thing is I am into the thought of being with a girl, it's just I know I'm not completely straight. Miss S just smirked as if she knew from the moment we met about my little secret. I mean it's not really big deal since the world is more opening and accepting these days, it's just no one bothered to ask me since the only ones who know are Hidomi since she found out on her own and my parents since I told them. I actually don't mind telling anyone about it and even my strange substitute teacher. Now that I think about it…

"That's the real reason you sent everyone out isn't it Miss S?"

"Of course. You're a loner Zenji, and the students finding this out when I was already trying to figure it out myself would open a floodgate of questions I'm sure you never want to deal with. And it's my job even as a substitute to protect this confidentiality."

Wow that's...nice. Although I'm sure I'm not the only one in the school. "Gee, thanks teach. So you don't think it's weird I-"

"Why would I when I myself have had a few experiments at your age?"

What?

"That's all the time we have Anazawa, go on home." I opened my mouth to say more but Instead I closed it and grabbed my things and headed out the door so I can meet Hidomi and head to her Cafe.

But this wouldn't be the most interesting thing that would happen to me today.

* * *

 **Zenji's Actors**

 **Japanese: Tasuku Hatanaka**

 **English: Sean Chiplock**


End file.
